Monday, June 23, 2008

A Surprise

I've been gone from this blog for some time. But for good reason recently. I've met someone (quite unexpectedly) and we've been fully embracing the little time we have together before she moves to get to know each other. I'm not going to mention her name here, only because I think she'd be embarrassed if she were to read this and realize I was talking about her. But she's made concrete a number of things for me. First, the phrase from a couple Spiritual Exercises ago where Carron says we must have sympathy for our own humanity. There's many a dimension to that statement, but it wasn't until I met her that I realized how much I needed to grow in this regard. She looks at me in a way that I simply find impossible to comprehend. She sees me in a way that I don't see myself. And, slowly, I'm beginning to simply accept this gift that this beautiful woman looks at me in this way and stop mentally trying to understand how it is possible. Second, she's taught me an important lesson in forgiveness. How it is a gift, not just for the one who is forgiven but also the one who forgives. Our relationship was borne out of her willingness to forgive me for basically being an idiot when we first started to communicate and I, like a fool, abruptly stopped and disappeared. I know that I am overwhelmed by what has come from that act of forgiveness, but I think I can speak for her and say she too would describe its fruits as a gift for her too.

So please forgive me in my disappearance from this blog for a time! I'm desperately trying to just be present in the moment with her and follow this (without getting ahead of things or thinking I know the meaning of everything before reality reveals it to us). But I'd thought I'd share.

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